It was so much fun hearing Matt speak tonight. I cannot reiterate how important it is to choose who you date wisely. Your heart is at stake- guard it with everything you have for it is "the wellspring of life". Your ability to embrace Jesus as your groom will be highly affected if you engage your heart in relationships that do not point you to him. i speak from experience when i warn you of these things. My deepest desire in life is to know Jesus. For many years i struggled to embrace him as my groom because of my scewed vision of what i had previously experienced. Some of my biggest insecurities came from allowing myself to be in unhealthy relationships. The baggage as Matt was talking about followed me, weighed me down, and kept me from experiencing the abundant life that the Lord had for me. Many of you know what i am talking about. Through many tears, and hard moments the Lord gently healed my wounds and i am free. There is no longer any guilt or shame associated with my memories. The baggages that were once there- i left them behind and now they only serve as a monument in time reminding me of the grace of God in my life to heal me of my wounds and to free me from my bondage. So in light of what i am writing to you......choose wisely.

A verse that i have been pondering is:
zech 2:8
"For whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye"

Pretty amazing.

i am asking Father what does it mean to touch the apple of his eye???
In some commentaries it talks about the apple of the eye being the cornea. This is the most important part of the eye. We have our vision because of the cornea.
Pretty interesting.

As i think about these things, Father keeps bringing to mind my baby boys. Theres not a moment that goes by when they stray from my vision. The vision of my heart. I can't do anything without them coming to my mind. My affections for those little guys is always at hand overwhelming my heart with joy and my eyes with tears at any drop of a hat.
Father is reminding me that it is much the same with him.
Wow.......

I cannot tell you the feelings that well up inside of me thinking of anything or anyone who might come against, touch, or harm my boys. i am ready to do whatever it takes to stop what might come there way- even if it means giving my life.

I am starting to grasp the answer to my question.
This verse speaks volumes to my heart. Many times when i feel under attack- the enemy would have me believe that i am all alone and that i have to figure out the spiritual formula to get out. God in these moments feels far away. Feeling all alone in the battle is not a good place to be.
For me this verse exposes the lies of my honest but faulty mentality.
How crafty is the enemy to want to isolate us during his onslaught.

"He who touches you, touches the apple of his eye"
Truth sets me free.

Thank you Holy Spirit for allowing me to glimpse your heart tonight...... thank you for fighting for me.....thank you for not leaving me alone.....thank you that i am affectionetly in your vision.


signing off for tonight...... the apple of His eye.