So, I had just finished eating lunch with the staff at Cracker Barrel and thought that I would make a quick stop to browse the flea market across the street.
Josh and Caleb are doing great- we're sporting in the double stroller making our way through the isles. Josh and I are having sweet conversations- you know, about colors and toys that we see along the way. I am feeling pretty much like supermom.
I completely had things under control- not to mention the compliments of everyone who passed by me- commenting on my sweet little angels. I was quite the proud mother.
So we are at the back of the store (what used to be a Walmart) and sweet cheeks (Caleb) starts crying. It dawns on me that he's getting hungry and that I don't have a bottle. (This is not a good situation) To make matters worse I didn't have time (b/c Caleb was really getting loud) to stop and buy the toy that Josh was playing with- so I had to take it away from him or chance getting put in jail for stealing a used cash register toy that was $2.00. Honestly this was a hard decision! So wouldn't you know he was not real pleased with my decision. So he started in. Whining and then crying. My little angels- still angels mind you- just not very happy ones.
I am making a mad dash to the car- trying to avoid all the stares from all the people that are now annoyed with me.
Out the front door I go into what felt like 100 degree weather in my sporty double stroller- which at this point I am dreading having to deal with getting it back into the trunk.
Both babies screaming, everyone's burning up, the cars hot, Josh won't sit in his seat, Caleb won't keep his pacifier in his mouth, I can't get the stupid stroller in the trunk and parked across from me is an old beat up van with an old big black woman watching this whole scene.
I am trying my best to get everything packed up in a hurry and she says to me........ (if you have seen the diary of a mad black woman then you've got the right picture in your head)........."Give me one of them babies, it don't look like you know what your doing!"
As if I have time to converse in these moments! Thankfully what she said did not register and I just laughed it off and replied "there just in need of naps".
So I am driving back to the apartment- we still have 15 minutes left to go and yes both babies are now crying at the top of their lungs and it starts to register with me what she actually had the audacity to say to me! The nerve!!
Again here I am with a very crucial decision to make. Do I continue on my way home to find some relief from all of the crying or do I go back to the parking lot, make that woman get out of her car and show her what a mad white women looks like!!
Needless to say the old dead April was wanting to raise up out of the coffin!!
Fighting, stealing- I know all shocking to you, I am sure.
So I carried on my way, stressed out to say the least, vowing never to go on anymore outings with the children again.
Caleb got fed and Josh found a different toy and took a nap.
I however was reaching my limit of stress.
My previous days had been much the same, minus the dear woman, bless her heart.
My wonderful husband had been sensing a little edge on the mother of his children and thankfully decided that it was time to intervene. So this morning he told me that he would keep the little cherubs until 12:00 so that I could get out all by myself. FREEDOM!!!
I was out of the house by 8:30.
Shopping and a pedicure did just the trick!
It's amazing- you will see when you become mommies- 3 hours of alone time out of the house will last you about 3-4 weeks of not having any time to yourself.
12:00 came around and I couldn't wait to get home to my 3 men, ready to engage their hearts, and to be wife and mommy again.
So where was Jesus in all of this??
in every little detail.
-He was at lunch with the staff allowing me to have great fellowship and conversation.
I needed that.
-He was at the flea market with me watching me enjoy the "hunt for a treasure"
He knows that I love that.
-He was there when the babies started crying and heard me whisper
"Jesus please get me out of hear as fast as possible"
-He was there in the parking lot when I was completely stressed and he heard the words that the enemy tried to use to crush my spirit through an innocent bystander who had no idea how the enemy was intending to use her to steal my joy.
-He was there in the car on the ride home when I lost it with Josh and yelled back at him trying to get him to cooperate. He was there to quickly and gently remind me that his power is perfected in my weakness. And right then and there I was weak. He was there in the car accepting my confession of weakness and he responded when I asked him to be tenderness through me to my sweet baby boys who were incredibly needy.
-He was a husband to me through Matt who saw my need to get away and to be alone.
-He was there at the nail salon asking me to pray for the Vietnamese people doing my nails who had shrines to Buddha.
-He was there when I went shopping and again enjoyed watching me get excited about all the sales that I found.
-He was there in the dressing room encouraging me in the things that fit and also letting me know that it was ok when things did not.
-He was in the car ride home welling up inside of me excitement to see my family and confirming that he would do it all through me.
So there you have it. My encounter in the parking lot.
I am discovering that the bottom line is this:
He is everything to me! He IS life! Nothing makes sense without him. If he's not in every detail of my life then I want to cease to exist! I need to know that there's a bigger picture and I need to know that He's it!
signing off for tonight..........Life as he lives it